So when you think of marriage or rather life after you get married? Some will say that they are hoping for a perfectly ever after or that it will be hard but their love for each other will pull them through the hard times. No matter what your life is before marriage, you will have certain expectations about what you think will happen after you get married.
With a good amount of people in the world getting divorced in the western world and those that get divorced in other places, I have to believe that a lot of people get married with a flawed view of what to expect afterwards. When some people get married, yes they’re in love and want the best for their spouse but oftentimes, they only think of how marriage will benefit them and not how it will affect their spouse. This in turn will take over after they get used to living with their spouse after an amount of time.
After the initial stage of the euphoria of love, some will start getting frustrated and not be as selfless as they were in the beginning. They may start getting into arguments with each other over several different things. Each argument could be that it’s because of a desire of one or the other that isn’t being met by the other. That could be physically, sexually, emotionally and socially.
“Now in response to the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman.” But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another sexually—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say the following as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God, one person in this way and another in that way.”
1 Corinthians 7:1-7Hcsb Bible
The reason why this occurs is because a lot of people have a selfish view and expectation of marriage and not one that is based in the Bible. The Bible says that not only should we not be selfish with our marriages, but that our bodies are not even ours to do with what we want anymore after marriage.
Think about that for a second. We shouldn’t really expect a lot of privacy from our partners after getting married since our bodies belong to the other.
That means that we need to be selfless with our lives when we married. Stop thinking of ourselves but rather what would be best for your spouse to make them happy and close to the Lord. This means even after the initial euphoria of love leaves, if it does.
This will be difficult to do. Especially in the physical and sexual department. Just like there will be times that we don’t want to do something in sex, there will be times that we won’t want to do something in order to make our spouse happy. It might make us uncomfortable but we are to be selfless to help serve our spouses. Now this is not saying that we should just expect our spouse to do whatever in order to make us happy despite their uncomfortable thoughts on whatever the matter is. We should always consider what our spouse thinks of a certain situation and not to push something on them that makes them uncomfortable unless it brings them closer to God.
Of course, no matter how we serve our spouse, we should always keep it within the confines of marriage and what the Bible says about it. That means that we shouldn’t go against Gods word in the service to our spouse.
This means that we should look for and have discernment when we are dating someone. Date and then marry someone that is willing to serve the other person and is pursuing the Lord in their everyday life. That way, there won’t be as much arguing over this topic of service to each other. Both of you should serve the other.
So at the end of the day, be the best spouse you can be. Be selfless, not selfish. Serve, not order around. Be considerate not conceited.
I hope you have a great day and if you have any questions or disagreements, just comment below or message me.