I hope everyone is having a good day and a great start to the week. So today, we will be going over another quality to avoid in your relationships, close friends and dating partners. It’s on the topic of someone that is conceited or selfish. Now we all know those are bad, but are they really something that we must avoid like the plague in order to love someone else? Yes according to the Bible, it is.
Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited,”1 Corinthians 13:4Hcsb Bible
So there are multiple reasons why we need to avoid it like the plague. One is because, like envy, the focus of the person is not on the most important thing which is Jesus Christ and the other person in the relationship. When one is conceited and selfish, they have their focus on themselves entirely and not on God or the person they are trying to show love to.
Sure, they may do good things to and for you or others, but if it’s an extreme case, it’s because they are trying to get something out of it. It could be a favor( in a variety of different areas), maybe so you owe them one, or sometimes just because they want the recognition of doing a ‘ good deed’ and get the applause of men and build up their reputation. In any case, even when showing good acts in their relationships, it usually comes with a direct or indirect catch.
This then causes tension in relationship with them and you can never just thank the person and be happy and get closer. You start thinking of the relationship like a business transaction and whenever you receive something nice from them, you don’t trust that it’s from a good heart and can’t get close to them. Then you ask them what does he or she wants.
This is very similar to when you were a kid and when you wanted to get a gift or go over for a sleepover, you would sometimes go up to your parents and start buttering them up and complimenting them. And what did our parents always respond with it seems? “Ok thank you. What do you want now?”
Yes that means we were selfish as kids. All of us were to an extent but as we grow up and grow closer to the Lord, we should be working on our character and be more selfless and not selfish or conceited. So of course before we go over some signs of selfishness, we have to understand that we are all on a path towards getting closer to God if we’re Christians and we should be gracious and forgiving with our brothers and sisters in Christ. It only is a huge problem when it becomes a constant pattern and they don’t see anything wrong with their behavior.
So some common signs to look for are; watch how they respond to when they don’t get their way, how do they treat others when they give their opinions and how do they portray themselves to others and their friends.
If when they don’t get their way, they will commonly get mad and try to bend the situation to where they get what they want or they are the center of attention again. For example, someone else is telling a story, they will then interrupt and tell their story just to get the attention of everyone else because they believe they’re better than everyone else and therefore should always have everyone’s attention.
When someone comes to them and gives them advice or even just says a statement about a topic, they will completely disregard what they said and not listen to anything they say because they think their better than them.
Another sign is that, sometimes they can be posting on social media to try and get the attention of everyone else. It could be a scenario where someone posts a picture and then calls themselves ugly just to then receive comment after comment giving them compliments. This way, they give off a false sense of humility and still get the attention back on themselves. they can never just blend in in a situation because they have to stand out.
The reason why I chose signs like these is because, if these are common in their daily life, it’s a flaw in their character and will affect every relationship they have. If you see it just in your few interactions with them in life, it will show up a lot more if you date or marry them for any meaningful amount of time. So be careful.
Now is this an exhaustive list? No, but is common signs I tend to see and therefore should avoid these signs in ourselves and our relationships. If we don’t, we will gain the wrong attention and we will still start to think we don’t need God because we’re just the greatest beings ever created.
Now how do we combat this bad trait so that we can better love others? Well we treat it the same way that we do pride because being conceited and selfish is just an extreme form of sinful pride. We read the Bible, constant communication with God and put ourselves in perspective with the rest of the world and the grand scheme that God has for the world. If we do this, we will be humbled. Trust me, just go out camping under the stars and then think about how small you are. It’s definitely humbling to me.
So at the end of the day, be patient, be kind, be gracious and be humble so you can love more. Thank you for reading this and if you have any questions, or disagreements on anything I say, just comment down below or message me. I hope you have a great day.